You're Always Under Surveillance
What do people say about you when you leave the room?
Most professionals believe their reputation is built during high-stakes conversations, such as when they lead a meeting or conduct a presentation. We like to think it is in those moments when we are “on" that people shape their opinion of the professional we are. Like it or not, we are always under surveillance.
Our reputation takes shape in the moments we go off script—in hallway conversations just before a meeting, an interaction at the coffee machine, the way you handle an unexpected mistake from a teammate. It is also shaped by how we act when we aren't speaking at all.
Every day moments set the stage for how others experience you. Your actions and inactions reveal who you are.
The minute you leave the room, the conversation about you begins. This is where others let down their guard and speak honestly about what they saw and how they felt in your presence.
Your influence is also on full display when you think it isn’t. Sit in a meeting and watch what happens when people assume no one is paying attention. For instance, when someone pulls out their phone during a meeting to check a “quick” message, others hear: “This isn’t important to me.” Whisper a side comment to someone sitting next to you, and it’s a louder form of disrespect than if you had directly interrupted. Your body language and commitment to the conversation leave a lasting impression, even if you aren't the one talking.
These moments aren't easily forgotten. They’re logged, shared and replayed in the back of people's minds.
Virtual Matters
This doesn’t just apply to in-person interactions. Virtual interactions carry just as much weight. Log into a meeting with your camera off, and the message is clear: “I’m multitasking.” Even with your camera on, people can tell if you're focused somewhere else. It’s obvious when your attention is on chats, emails or another screen entirely.
Your posture speaks just as loudly. Sitting slouched in your chair with a disengaged expression or minimal movement says, “I don’t want to be here.” Virtual or not, your presence conveys a message. People are paying attention, even when you think they aren't.
Every encounter is a reflection of your reputation. People take mental notes when you least expect it. Your reputation is less about what you say when you’re leading a team and more about how you act when you think no one’s looking.
You can't control what others say when you leave the room, but you can control what they experience when you’re in it. To get started, seek feedback.
Seek Feedback
I get it, feedback hurts. No one likes to hear it, especially when what we hear doesn't match what we believe to be true. Feedback is the catalyst we need for change. It shines a light on what works and what needs improvement. If you want to know what others think about you when you leave the room, take the following four steps:
1. Ask for it! Find someone you trust to provide you with feedback on how others perceive you in your next meeting. Be specific about what you want feedback on. Following the meeting, take five minutes to hear what they have to say.
2. Record yourself. On your next virtual call, set up your phone to record your facial expressions. If you routinely record virtual meetings, pull one recently recorded and watch the playback. Determine how you acted and engaged and whether that is how you want others to experience you.
3. Write it down. Decide what works for you and what needs improving. Write down your goals and how you plan to practice. Keep it close by as a reminder to stay focused.
4. Share with others! Letting others know what you want to work on increases your chances of success by 65%. Let them know what you are committed to changing and give them ongoing permission to offer you feedback.
The next time you're tempted to check out of a conversation or dismiss a comment with a smirk, remember this: You are ALWAYS under surveillance. Someone is watching and forming an opinion.
