3 Steps to Actively Listen to Increase Your Influence

You think you're listening. You're not. Research shows that 70% of effective communication is achieved through active listening, yet 85% of misunderstandings in communication are due to lack of active listening GitNux. Most people are waiting to talk, not listening to understand. That destroys influence. Here are three steps to actually listen:

Eliminate All Distractions

Close your laptop. Put your phone face down. Stop thinking about your response while they're talking. You cannot listen and multitask. When your attention is divided, the other person knows it. And when they know you're not fully present, your influence evaporates. Full attention is non-negotiable.

Ask Clarifying Questions

Don't assume you understand. Confirm it. "What I'm hearing is... Is that accurate?" "Can you say more about that?" "Help me understand what you mean by..." Questions prove you're engaged. They show respect. They prevent misunderstandings that cost you credibility. Most importantly, they give you better information to respond to.

Respond to What They Said—Not What You Wanted Them to Say

Stop hijacking conversations. Stop redirecting to your agenda. Address what they actually communicated, not what you wish they'd said. When people feel heard, they trust you. When they trust you, they listen to you. That's influence.

Active listening isn't passive. It's intentional, disciplined work. It means controlling your impulse to interrupt. Resisting the urge to solve before you understand. Prioritizing their message over your response. Most leaders talk their way out of influence. The best ones listen their way into it. Practice this Monday to Monday, and watch your influence grow.